yellowducky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- At last. I'm alive. Hello All Diarylanders! Life has been one constant round of excitement: I started my new job, which I love. It’s so much less stressful, and it’s very flexible. Working with a new population truly helped my burn-out. It’s so different working primarily with children. Don’t get me wrong, some of these kids have very adult problems, but there’s a different feeling to the work. Success is measured differently. And, of course, the pay raise is very nice. Not to mention the benefit package and 11 paid holidays/year! Yahoo, baby! I’m still working on-call at the shelter. Yes, I am masochistic. I realize this; let’s move on. I’m directing a play. That’s right, the original drama queen is going to be on the other side of the curtain. It’s a little intimidating, but a friend asked me to direct his play that he’d written (I still can’t figure out why he choose me?) Anyway, I’m doing it. He’s worked in no stage directions—ahg. I guess I’ll just have to work on it this weekend. It’s an exciting new challenge for my free time—that’s assuming I can round some of that stuff up. My step-father’s cancer treatments are all over. He beat a class four tumor. His doctors are amazed. He’s a tough old bird. Their (his and my mom’s) relationship is healthier than ever. It makes me happy. On the guy front: There was very briefly a Chemist showing interest. Until I, of course, sabotaged it all. In personality and character he was very much like “Ungerman”. I think it scared me because I could actually see myself falling for him if he continued to reveal himself as so similar to my friend. The Lawyer is back for the summer. He is more flirtatious than ever. He’s made it a habit to call one or two nights a week to ask me to go swimming or for a drive. The problem is, he’s all talk and no follow-through. I’m about to call him on it. Not because I’m particularly interested, you see, but because I really need to get kissed and I know he won’t take it too seriously. I’ve come up with a theory on my relationship with “Ungerman”. I believe he thinks he’s my big brother and has to watch over me. It would explain so much. For instance, the way he questions me any time there is a new guy in my life—or he perceives there is a new guy (such as last Sunday). The issue here is, I already have a very protective brother (who I need desperately to talk to—hint, hint). I just wish he would come out and tell me this—“hey, Ducky, I’m so glad I’ve finally found a little sister. I only have a brother, you know….” Something to this effect so I can have my heart broken, be healed and move on. Because obviously flirting with half the men in Arizona isn’t getting me over him! All it’s done is gotten me lectures from him on how aggravating women are-only I don’t know if they are directed at me or women in general, because he’s always so careful not to hurt my feelings! He walks on eggshells around me since I wigged out on him. I just want to yell at him sometimes to stop being so careful and be real. Of course, I wonder if he ever wants to tell me the same thing. You see, we are very careful with each other. Especially since our friendship is approaching where it used to be before the date fiasco. 9:22 a.m. - June 27, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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