yellowducky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Flirting Two entries in one day! Can you tell it's a boring day in the shelter? People are actually doing what they're supposed to around here. Ducky needs to have a bad week more often, I guess. I realized I hadn't written about something very important. The fact that I gave up flirting for Lent. No, I'm not Catholic, and yes, I realize that Lent isn't until next month. But flirting is so ingrained in me I need the extra time. And, I figured I could still observe Lent as half my family is Catholic. My mom was slated to be a nun until she was 16. So that's okay then, right? Now, you are asking why. Why, Ducky did you do such a silly thing as give up something that gives you and everyone around you so much pleasure. Well, I'm glad you asked. It's because as I evaluated how I interact with guys I realized I have two gears: best friend and flirt. These are two really good gears as they both serve the same purpose. They keep me from getting seriously romanticaly involved with a guy. One tells him he's like a brother to me, the other that's he's one of many (remember my friend who told me I was neither hot nor cold, but neutral). Best friend conversations allow me to play therapist and keep the guys at arms length. Flirting allowed me to be flitty and flighty and keep them at arms length. Do you get my point here? Both very controlling behaviors. Therefore, on my checklist of becoming less of a control freak it went. Instead, I am replacing both with non-therapy, non-flirting, honest, meaningful converstations with guys. I'll be honest and admit I've had quite a few flirting lapses. Winking is my downfall. I didn't know it was considered such a strong form of flirting! (Ducky pouts here, but wait, that's also considered flirting. In fact, almost everything she does is considered flirting by some. It's very discouraging.) It is nice to actually begin getting to know some of these guys I've been playing with. They have great minds. One of them really suprised me on how strongly he came out against child abuse. I was most impressed. This little experiment of mine is already showing some good results, even if some people keep asking me when it's going to be over. I suppose it will be over when I flirt to get closer to somebody, rather than keep them away. 2:02 p.m. - January 29, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||