yellowducky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Switzerland! Okay, lots has happened in the romance department since I got back from Kansas, and it's all the fault of a fortune cookie that I ate at a little Chinese resaurant in Great Bend late one night. It all started Sunday driving back from Prescott with a friend of mine. He's an incredible friend. I adore him. I've often wondered what would happen if things progressed beyond friendship. He treats me like a queen. Just as we were driving back into Phoenix he says, "I've often wondered how our relationship would be different if I hadn't been so hung up on (Insert Generic Female Name Here) and you hadn't been so hung up on "UnGerman" when we first became friends." I froze. I couldn't very well tell him I've often wondered the same thing. Never mind that neither of us have those hang ups any more. I just smiled and made some non-commital sound. That's not the end of my weird week. Oh no. Monday night, my little cuddle buddy--who I don't believe I've introduced to Diaryland yet; we'll call him Mr. Yellow Scarf; drove me to a party. I knew full well when he offered to drive me that we would end up back at my place afterward. We had been building up to a kiss for a couple of weeks now. After the party we drove to my apartment, popped in a movie, and curled up on the couch. I turned off the vibes. I suddenly decided I didn't want to kiss him. What's wrong with me? Do I have a fever? Am I malfunctioning? I don't know. He's attractive. It wasn't a suprise. I'm very concerned. Then, the other night I was talking to a very good friend of mine who dropped a bombshell in my lap. I don't know quite how we got around to it, but he comes out with, "When we met, I was very attracted to you Ducky. But you treated me just like you treat everyone else. Not hot or cold. You're neutral." And that ladies and gentleman, might just sum up all of my issues with men. They think I'm neutral. I'm just too good an actress. My control freakishness over my emotions has completely taken over and guys think I'm Switzerland, for goodness sake! 2:50 p.m. - December 28, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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