yellowducky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Growing Pains Without going into too many details, I’ve realized over the past two weeks or so that in an attempt to “fix” what went wrong in my childhood I deliberately seek out guys who are incapable of connecting to me emotionally. I have come to terms with the fact that nothing I can do now can “fix” the past, and even if I could, it isn’t my place to do so. Therefore, I am working on identifying the healthy relationships in my life and what makes them so. As I identify these healthy elements, hopefully I will be able to translate them over into my romantic relationships. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me. In other news, I am going up to Utah and Montana this week. I’m so excited to get out of the depths of Hades and into some cooler weather! Wahoo! Plus, I get to see some of my favorite people in the world. One of those people is my good friend, Marathon Man. I was talking to him Sunday evening about the Fireman dating someone else while he was proposing to me, and how I still just wanted to cry about it. He told me when he saw me this weekend, he would hold me and let me get it all out. I think that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s said to me since I found out. He’s such a good friend to me. The Pilot has passed ground and flight school, and is now officially based in Denver. He’s still trying to convince me he’s still going to be around, but we all know better. Of course, I am feeling a little pessimistic about relationships right now. He was in town yesterday and tried to ask me out for lunch, but I was in a meeting. I guess I should cut him a little slack. 1:50 p.m. - June 18, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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