yellowducky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Of Jerks and Gentlemen First of all, the firefighter continues to be a jerk. We see each other at different social events, and each time he goes out of his way to make sure I see him. As if that’s not enough, he then goes out of his way to come over and bump against me or nudge me. Then he’ll want to start up a conversation. At Co-Ed volleyball on Wednesday (yes, I’m on the team. I’m also a wretched player. Luckily, it’s just for fun and my teammates are all my friends.) I had just rotated out and was standing talking to the guys on the team who had rotated out when he comes walking over and plants himself right next to me. “I see you have your fan club here,” he says. “They’re my friends, yes,” I reply in a barely civil tone. “Is that the mistake you made with me?” he asked. “I made lots of mistakes with you, but none of them had anything to do with friendship,” I toss at him. He was silent for a few moments. “You should come hang out with my group,” he finally comments. “There are lots of cute guys and I could hook you up.” I actually look at him for the first time. “No thank you. I’m doing just fine on my own.” “Really, you have a new guy? Anybody I know?” “I doubt it, he’s new in the area.” “I’m seeing someone new too. She’s a really good girl.” “That’s good. Shouldn’t you be sitting over with your team.”? A short time later he made a production of cuddling up with the skinny blond and leaving early with her. Now, my issues with this are: does he think he’s my pimp that he has to “arrange” dates for me? Does he honestly think I’m so unattractive that I can’t get dates on my own? If that’s the case, why did he go out with me in the first place? And what’s his issue that we can’t politely ignore each other in public. If he really wants to talk to me, he can call me so I can have the pleasure of slamming the phone down on him. What really makes me mad is that he still has some control over my emotions. I don’t like him, either romantically or as a person. He needs to just leave me alone. He doesn’t want me, he doesn’t love me, and he doesn’t respect me. What’s the deal that he must continue to put himself in my consciousness? He shouldn’t test my patience anymore, all my guy friends are begging to know his real name so they can “go take care of him” for me. I’ve been very restrained so far, but he’s testing me. On the flip side, at a dance where jerk-boy kept bumping into me, I was hanging out with some of my guy friends. A new person had entered our little circle, and of course I try immediately to establish a “let’s just be friends, who can I set you up with” relationship. He didn’t let it work. When I brought up the subject with him, he asked me if I would set myself up with him! Wow, talk about surprising me and soothing my bruised and wounded ego! Then, he brought me truffles to church on Sunday, just because. Yeah, that guaranteed that I thought about him all week. On Thursday we took a picnic to the lake and then went paddle boating. Now, you have to realize that it was dark, and there are three very romantic bridges over the lake. Two of which are strung with lights. It was incredible. Yesterday, I came home from work to find flowers and a note on my doorstep. Oh, he is so good! Then we went to the movies. He’s very attentive and complementary and affectionate without being clingy. He’s exactly what I need after the firefighter. Despite the fact that he’s exactly what I need right now, I hate the fact that he obviously likes me more than I like him! I always feel so guilty when that happens, as if I am using him. As much as it hurts, I always prefer it to be the other way around. But, I’ve made a promise to myself to not over-analyze. My roommate, who, by the way, hated firefighter, gives this new guy, (as yet un-nicknamed) two thumbs up and a bag of popcorn. 8:04 a.m. - May 25, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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