yellowducky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dating and Frustrations Firefighter is still pouting, only now he’s taken to asking my roommates about my comings and goings. Good thing I have them trained to give no information! I’m so bugged at him. I feel like he’s playing a game with me; and everybody knows I’m the only one allowed to play games in a relationship (hmmm, maybe this is the universe’s justice?). No, really, this is seriously starting to irritate me. This is a very bad way to end a relationship. In analyzing it (because, of course, I over-analyze everything), we were both too stressed out at the same time. He’s been stressed over his big firefighting test tomorrow, and I’ve been stressed over my mom. Only, I didn’t tell him about my mom. In fact, he knows very little about my dysfunctional family. Or, maybe he could just tell I wasn’t as committed to the relationship as he was. Irony, of course, is that now I really miss him. Oh yes, I’ve messed up. I feel like I need to call him to wish him luck on his big test, but I’m so irritated I might start a fight, and then he might mess up on his test and ruin his career and hate me forever (oh yes, worst case scenario girl is back). On the other hand, Shy Guy from Thursday Night called. We had a great conversation, even though he was out of town for his birthday. I thought is was sweet that he would call long distance just so that he followed up on my giving him my phone number. The good news is that he’s not younger than me. He’s 5 years older. He has yet to actually ask me out yet, however, so no judgments are being made about age, personality (I have a suspicion he doesn’t have a sense of humor), etc. Things are progressing nicely with Flyboy. If all I wanted was a good friend, that is! Of course everyone thinks we’re dating, but are we actually? I really don’t know. We do everything together, we touch constantly, he always reserves at least one of my weekend nights and we see each other about two other times in the week when he’s not working, he competes for my attention in group settings, he calls just to chat….. But are we actually dating—I’d still have to say no. I don’t know what we’re doing. 8:31 a.m. - March 05, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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