yellowducky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Back on the Night Shift (Temporarily) So here it is, 1:30 am and I'm at work. Why? Because EVERYONE on staff is sick. Some even have orders from the Dr. to stay home because they have "highly infectious bacterial" things going on. Overtime for me! Maybe I'll get out of debt faster..... So, since I have all this time on my hands, maybe I'll write about V. He's my first "yes, this is a big mistake and I shouldn't be doing it" relationship. I've made mistakes IN relationships before, but this is the first time the relationship itself is wrong. What's bad is that I've known it from the very first. For some reason, though, I've having a very difficult time breaking it off. He's funny and very good looking. But, he doesn't have any of my values and he is so much more agressive physically than I have ever allowed before. He's not even that great of a kisser. There is so much more to the event than sticking your tongue down a girl's throat! So why don't I give him my patented "This just isn't working for me" speech? I don't know. I tend to kind of string guys along until I know that I'm in control, and then dump them. It's bad, it's evil. I shouldn't do it. My mom thinks I'm vicariously reclaiming control from and exacting revenge against my step-father and step-brother. It's possible, or maybe I'm just a mean person. It doesn't solve my problem with V., though. I suppose I'd feel worse if I had any indication that he wanted anything meaningful from our little interlude.... Okay, enough analysis. I'm going to do my stats for the month.
1:30a.m. - November 01, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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